6-17-26 [journal entry]
I untangled the morning glory from dill plant and moved the dill —metaphor for life
"Some relationships don't need to end—they just need healthier boundaries."
i’ve sprayed my berry plant with a gentle mist of diluted orange clove water follow by diluted castille mist to keep pest away. It worked.
i‘ve been noticing a mockingbird landing on the balcony quite often. im think they may be eyeing the berries. i need to get a net to protect them as the grow
Write to Happiness
There’s been a slow boiling sadness brewing beneath the surface. I try to chase it, turnover it, examine it thinking maybe I can find the source. So, then what? I don’t, I think if I know what caused it then I can fix it. Glass half full
Then I start the comparison thing. Why me? Why can’t I just BE happy?
“Most folks are as happy as they make up their minds to be.” ~Abe Lincoln
Do some folks come with built in systems already tuned to happy. You know like the folks who wake up happy and smiling --that’s not me. I really don’t want to talk to anyone when I wake up. I need to ease into my day slowly and gradually. I’m not even hungry until I have been up and moving about for a couple of hours. I do like a nice caffeine-boost to break my fast. It can be coffee or tea. I want something warm and uplifting.
Comparison, I know it is never a good thing. You can always find something or someone better and someone worse. We all tend to focus on those things and people who are better. That doesn’t do a lot for self-esteem now does it. There is an upside to it though, it can keep you striving to do or be better. That’s a good thing. Downside, it keeps you feeling less than, never measuring up.
See that’s me in my head, a place where I stay too much sometimes. Overthinking rather than just being –just living. That’s me sometimes and it is what it is. I have developed coping mechanisms to lift my mood, and shift my focus.
I find things to do that bring me joy. Things like crafting, garden or writing sometimes it’s making bread sometimes it’s making soap. I’ve had periods where I enjoyed making jewelry with natural gemstones. I’ve dabbled in making my own handmade paper. I’ve been known to sew or crochet as well. I’ve taught classes in some of these arts and shared them with my granddaughter too.
This spring I decided to create a balcony garden as my growing joy project. It was a way for me to be intentional about cultivating and maintaining joy. I have always had a few house plants. The state of health of my plants are usually a pretty good reflection of my mental state.
My Growing Joy Garden has been a true joy with ups and downs but ultimately yielding a lush green botanical delight that dances and sways in sweet rhythm with the rain and wind. That’s my living room view of my balcony. It is plush with Basil, Genovia and Thai variety. They exploded and are thriving. What didn’t make it, cucumbers? I will start them later next year because the seeds took off and sprouted so quickly, I felt compelled to transplant them and move them outside, but we still had too frost to conquer. I think I can do better and have some success next year –hopefulness.
My lettuce did so-so – maybe it was the variety which was loose leaf. I think I will try a more compact, bunch variety next time. Maybe now, late summer but if successful I can bring them inside and continue through the winter. I have harvested it a few times but not enough to make a nice salad without adding other green vegetables store bought or homegrown herbs like basil.
The beets are still hanging in there after repositioning multiple times to stop the rain from washing it out and letting it get enough sun. Carrots are doing the same, great green tops but not much underneath –I recently pulled one to test. I know I planted them too closely and will correct that next year, I picked a great spot for them and will make sure not to change that.
I have lots of pepper plants some getting quite large. I transplanted them a couple of times too and finally found the right container (grow bag) and spacing. I do hope for at least a couple of them to bear fruit (peppers). I love to cook with them.
I’ve been pollinator watching and have spotted a beautiful hummingbird visiting a couple of times. I was able to get a quick shot the first time but was too engaged in conversation on the phone to capture it the next time. And this last time it was at the very last minute as it was leaving it’s nectar source.
And that keeps me hopeful –I house the nectar source. I created it, cultivated it intentionally to draw them. My zinnias are gorgeous and are continuing to bloom.
The Victorian meaning of zinnia are thoughts of an absent friend —for me the ancestors especially my mom. I have seen a variety of butterflies floating abouts.
That’s a success. No matter what else happens in this garden. If I’m only able to grow herbs and flowers successfully. That’s a win because this creates an opportunity for some great nature photos for me.
I have had a great deal of success with growing micro sprouts. That’s something --just as nutritious as lettuce or other greens, more if you believe the hype. I choose to.
I’m still not giving up on my kale seedlings and my healthy bunch of cilantro –I continue to harvest it. The strawberry plant which was to be my fruitful crown jewel is suffering from too rain. Yes, we’ve had areas that suffered from years of drought, so this rainy season has been a blessing.
Not so much for me a fledging container gardener. I’ve learned to check the weather and move the containers accordingly to prevent too much water logging or rain wash off –depleting the soil depth. My lavender plant fall prey to water-log. Anyway the strawberry plant continues to bloom and steadily produces berries. The problem also affected by strawberry plant too; it became soggy just before they got nice and ripe.
I just recently moved it and added soil and a wee bit of fertilizer for them and the other plants during the few rain free days we had this week. I still feel hopeful that we will be able to harvest a good bunch maybe next month as the rain is diminishing. I say we because my granddaughter has only be wowed by the strawberry plant. I do want her to have this memory of growing her own food.
Speaking of growing your own food, I have a childhood filled with those memories. I grew up on a farm and in a small southern rural town. Most of my best memories involve being out in or around nature. So, to be able to bring a little of that to my new dwelling place in the city brings me joy and a few fresh herbs.
Beyond the herbal success, I have managed to cultivate and grow two beautiful containers of morning glories. They are glorious in the bright morning sunlight. It looks like each bloom contains it’s very own sun that beams it’s beauty far and wide —quite literally. Morning glories are creepers and climbers which means they will wander and spread around any nearby surfaces. I have placed them on the north and south ends of the balcony.
They can create beautiful flowery archways like the one in my mom’s garden. So naturally I had to bring them to my little garrden. Everything I know about gardening especially flowers comes from my ancestors —mom. She had two green hands that grew everything from fruit trees to snap peas sprinkled with a healthy dose of roses.
Writing about my garden project lifts my spirits. It allows me to reflect on the simple joy of growing things from scratch. That earthy connection with mother nature as you dig in the dirt. Yes, I dig in, often with my hands because I love the feel of dirt and the smell of rich dirt after a good rain.
I just cut and gathered a small bunch of Zinnias to bring inside. This is also good pruning practice to help it continue growing and producing—a double win. And my little experimental sweet potato project to produce slips for planting is taking off like the wind. Slips are growing before my very eyes it seems — it’s happening so fast.